perfection is a beautiful flaw

2005-01-12T20:41:00.000+08:00

my dad told me to imagine this in my head:

imagine you're in a dark alley, and 4 guys surround you. they're twice your size and you're slighty intoxicated and weak. you know they're smiling at you, closing in and cornering you. one by one, they ask you to strip.

what do you do?

hah. my dad has a good imagination, no doubt. but he has a point as well, unfortunately. i can't change his mindset, no one can. honestly, he thinks that most of the rape victims were tempting their attackers by the way they dress.

seriously. what we may deem as conservative, can be viewed as enticing by those mofos.

i'm rambling again.

yeah. and here's an interesting thought. if i'm not wrong, switzerland, a country with a high standard of living and quality of life, has one of the highest suicide rates. and africa, one of the poorest countries, has one of the lowest.

my dad's a very random person, like me. :D

OH. and he made a deal with my brother and i. he'll pay us to take up some form of martial art for the next two years. but i made another deal with him. instead of giving me money, he has to pay for my phone bills. HAHAHAHA.

crap. and i promised myself to stop blogging this year. :\

2005-01-08T01:21:00.000+08:00

i'm baaaaack. but not for long.

today went really well. firstly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JUANITA! :D. hope you have more wet dreams to come! ;) sorry i couldn't stay long. :(

secondly, i met up with kim! OMG. it's been more then a year and a half since i last seen her! we ended up talking about how life was back when we were 15 and 16, in holy cross, in sunday classes. the kids in Group 4.

yesss. then she met xb, and gave her Stamp of Approval. HAHAHAHAA. i suppose she's the only person who's seen me change. when she first saw me, she thought i was a juvenile delinquent! and a punk who had a much different dress sense. one who wouldn't go near skirts or pink. one who had a much different character.

pretty much, nothing like what i am today.

i used to talk so much more, and laugh non stop. i used to trust so easily. where did the old me go? sigh.

2005-01-01T01:27:00.000+08:00

aye. where did 2004 go? an hour and a half into 2005, and i'm still asking myself the same question.

what have i done this year?

a lot, apparently. the first of many things. and maybe even the last. it's just one of those years with the most number of unforgettable events. BUT IT DOESN'T FEEL THAT WAY. i still feel like i've just completed my last few o level papers, or waiting for my results, or getting my first pay check, or wondering where to go next friday.

rambles.

i've grown so much that i haven't even realised it. old friends can't recognise me, and at times, neither can i.

i'm old dammit. and this is the end of yet another phase. :) good bye all.

2004-12-25T23:48:00.000+08:00

good day all.

i'm gonna tell you a story, so amazing, even my boyfriend thought it was touching.

my dear friend shawn, the cookie man, not only baked cookies for charm and i, BUT, he also flew to hong kong.

WHY.

to see a girl. to celebrate christmas with her, since he knew she'll be alone in a foreign land. and he said it himself, he's never set foot in hong kong before. and he arrived at her door stop in less then an hour.

AYE. go read the original entry on his blog.

SHAWN

:)

2004-12-24T22:23:00.000+08:00

okay. the grinch in me has died. :D i think.

i wish

it was a more accepting world out there.

someone once said...

God, i can take care of my enemies, but not my friends.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

2004-12-22T22:41:00.000+08:00

WOW. my first radio show just ended.

WOW.

fine. i know i did screw up in plenty of areas. and the microphone was kuku. jon promised to get a new one. HAHA. goodie. can't wait for next week!

aye, i'm falling ill too. :( i sat in between liz and jon during speech comm tutorial on monday. THEY SNEEZED. val was sitting in front of me, and she was sick the next day!

yupp. how sweet. today went well. anne charm and i skipped S&W. we are sick. ayee. looks like we have to go for the bloody make up lesson.

CHRISTMAS IS COMING. and i'm the grinch this year. I DON'T LIKE CHRISTMAS. :(

2004-12-17T22:52:00.000+08:00

dearest sweetest horniest gwen,

words cannot express the love i have for you. i has since been very long i have smelt you. you are very fragrant rice. just like my hong kong noodles. i is wanted to told yours how i feel towards yours already. i love u since you were in your mother's womb. i know you feel the same way about my cha siew bao. no bowl of laksa can replace you.

after o levels i would liking to know yours better. i would want to brings yours backs to hongs kongs to meet king kongs with me. i want to show you king kong laksa and let you tasting me. maybe one day by chance we can be boyfriend girlfriend and by luck getting married. we will have a many king kongs and will eat many laksa together. don't worry, my balls will make it. we will happily have baby gwens and baby stephens. i will built a zinc house in shek kip mei squatters and stay with our babies. i know ian and wilson has been teasing us. but i hate them for making fun of me. but i promise that i will look care of you all my lives.

love, stephen.

LOL! IAN AND WILSON FROM SEC 4A'03 OF QTSS WROTE THIS. and it shows how bored they were. and stephen had no idea they wrote this. stephen was outcasted in my class, for many reasons. looking back, i wish that didn't happen.

BUT THE LETTER IS FUNNY.

2004-12-12T20:50:00.000+08:00

I PAID ATTENTION IN CHURCH TODAY!

omg. yeah, i said that. and i learned Something too. the opposite of love is not hate, it's selfishness.

think about it.

2004-12-10T22:26:00.000+08:00

edit: firstly, YUCK FOU! ahem.

as ted suggested, here's my wishlist! yes yes, superficial and greedy me. haw haw haw

1) minis.
i've got the pants, so now, it's time to top up on skirts. specifically, a plain denim one, one piao-y one, or a corduroy.

2) dresses!
preferably spaghetti or halter. best above the knees. and BRIGHT.

3) BAGS
heh heh. not for school, though that will be nice. hah, but i'm referring to those used for shopping and anything else! saddle bags! a nice matte one with BRIGHT details.

4) shoes.
aye. shoes are shoes.

5) tops
as usual.

6) a bikini!
weeeee!! paisley prints, my new interest.

7) handphone.
see, i don't have a color phone. but then again, my phone isn't black and white. since there's an IRRITATING blue light.

8) cards
probably the only thing i'm most looking forward to. :)

happy holidays, you lucky bastards.

2004-12-08T23:03:00.000+08:00

EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE IS BREAKING DOWN.

- the masterbed room light
- the washing machine
- the iron
- my brother's room light
- the internet connection (ocassionally)
- my laptop (microsoft office)

how nice.

2004-12-06T21:20:00.000+08:00

crap. i think my family secretly hates me.

-my brother thinks i'm like homer simpson, and i drool at the sight of food.
-my mum thinks i'm like Pheobe from Friends, because i say 'oh oh oh!' a lot.
-my dad pretends he can't hear me when i'm complaining to him, or when i'm asking him for my allowance.

YA. and i was playing a game xb sent to me. the objective was the bed the girl, and at the end, it's PORN! or somewhere along those lines.

ya. my brother saw me playing the game, (before the repulsive nudity appeared) and he asked me to send it to him.

DIE LAH! he's gonna tell my parents!

while everyone got to go home at 3pm today, my class had speech comm tutorial. HAH it was fun though. lol even though i was SHAKING when it was my turn to read in front of the class.

oh, i forgot to bring home my file of marketing and speech comm notes. good eh?

2004-12-04T22:41:00.000+08:00

i've been wondering.

what is blogging etiquette?

-when a person leaves a comment on your blog, do you reply to them on your own blog, or theirs? is it considered 'rude' if you don't reply at all? if so, is 'replying' done with you're chatting with that person on msn?

-is it wrong to read someone else's blog without their knowledge?

eh eh. somebody save me can. i'm becoming a cheena pok. and one of my darling friends, you know, the one who likes sly, yeah, i'm gonna convince here to form some cheena para para dance club with me.

to which, she replied with 'omg wtf wtf nooooooo.'

Gwen the cheena pok and keshia the ang moh lian! kawaii neh!

of course, she'll run far far far far away first.

charm: thank you. :) heehee. eh, it's damn hard to reply to you lah. and i miss you too.

2004-12-02T13:54:00.000+08:00

i had an interesting convo with a total stranger today. she started the convo. i replied. and so on.

'oh. you have a cleft lip?'
'er...yeah...i do.'
'are you gonna get surgery done?'
'my parents want me to get surgery to correct it, but i don't want to.'
'why not? you think you're pretty?'
'er..no. i see no need for that. but it's what they want.'
'ah i see...does it affect you?'
'yeah, of course it does.'
'does it affect you socially?'
'all the time.'

TAUFIK WON!!! WOOHOOO!!! my mum was super bitchy today. she really really really doesn't like sylvester. everytime he started singing, she had a look of disgust on her face.

geeze.

'if he represents singapore in world idol, he'll be laughing stock!'

'WHAT! YOU CALL THAT GOOD SINGING?!'

'they're all deaf'

'YIKES. DON'T RUIN MY SONG!'

'if he wins, it's only because he got sympathy votes'
(with reference to his parents' financial state)

coming from her...why am i not surprised.

2004-11-30T23:04:00.000+08:00

hello folks. this entry will be dedicated to xb, the boyfriend. and he knows that this isn't a good thing. read on and you will find out how silly we both are.

(in no order whatsoever)

1) he steps on my toes. well, he has size 12 feet, and mine are size 5.5 to 6.

2) he was sweeeet enough to get me a sunflower. BUT what you didn't know was that he sms-ed me beforehand (by mistake, of course). quote: they're selling sunflowers at taglin mall. cheap too.

3) yonks ago, he suggested taking the river taxi, which we eventually didn't, since i'm terrified of the water. BUT what he didn't know was that i knew what was going to happen. esp since he told me to read his friend's blog(fish), and fish said something like, good luck with the river taxi feat! uh huh.

okok. so it isn't fair how i'm blogging about how silly he is. i shall include some of my own, to hopefully, balance things out.

1) yonks ago, at marche, he pulled the chair for me, and i thought he was trying to steal my chair.

2) every 17th, i annoy the hell outta him, with pride too. :D

hah. he's gonna kill me for this. soo, for the record, i'm the silliness one. :P

2004-11-29T23:58:00.000+08:00

these past few days have been rather comical. i shall provide one example.

i told my dad that i wanted to get the chicken poks vaccination. but he told me it wasn't neccessary blah blah blah blah.

'and besides, you'll only be ugly for 2 weeks'

WHAAAAAAT?!

there's more. which i shouldn't mention, esp since i will be embarrassing myself!

sigh. school's gonna start next week. i wish it lasted longer. and shawn, i'm referring to holidays, not orgasms.

2004-11-27T17:31:00.000+08:00

guess who's back?

ME!!!!

Hair
heehee. and i streaked my hair, for S$30. :D YES!! it was supposed to be bright fushia pink(yes, pink), but it turned out to be a combo of red orange brown. somewhere along those lines. yes

shopping
it was bad. really bad. :(
1) i didn't have any money, so it was all paid for by my parents.
2) IT WAS WINTER DAMMIT!
serene and val were right. i wasn't able to find much stuff.
and it definately didn't help that my dad and brother didn't like shopping. so nothing much was bought. i expected things to be cheaper there. but nooooo. not all are.

sight seeing
that's basically what we did for one whole day. even though the trip was 5 days and 4 nights, we left singapore in the evening and hong kong in the morning. so it's actually 3 days and 2 nights.

food
i put on weight. good good food. :)

AND no holiday is complete without me falling ill. :) specifically, eye problems. waaaah, unfair lah.

kesh: sorry darlinK. i couldn't get a nice hoodie for ya. :(
charm: I MISS YOU TOOOO!
ian: happy birthdaaaay

2004-11-22T16:57:00.000+08:00

i've been having weird dreams. for three consecutive nights.

1st night.

i had three dreams. but i'm only gonna mention one of them. i dreamt that my friends and i were going to thailand for a holiday. specifically, i remember 'seeing' lizzy, keshia, beni and eve. and while we were at the airport, i realised that i forgot to pack my undies.

2nd night

hah. it had something in common with one of the dreams from the first night. and like keshia said, my hormones must be raging. :P THEY ARE.

3rd night

i was on a mission. think mission impossible. AND in that dream, someone was trying to steal my pink shoes, and i ended up doing the entire mission barefoot. funny shit. and i think jon was in it. LOL

aight. this will be my last post. i'm going to hong kong ahhhh tmr. :P daddy banned me from shopping. :( and mum says that it's winter season, so there might not be any nice clothes to buy. WAAAAAAH. forgive me folks, if i end up giving you lame stuff like keychains. :P

2004-11-21T23:25:00.000+08:00

my tagboard sucks.

SO.

i removed it. :)

yay!

haha. i'm bored can. BAH. so i did some moving. and i found A Knights Tale surprisingly inspiring. esp since i've seen it many many times on AXN.

ANYWAY, i walked outta mass before recieving holy communion. i just feel as though i can't eat it anymore. i don't sing, nor do i say the creed.

bless you, ian d. :)

UPDATE: WTF! some eeediot just randomly sms-ed me asking if i wanted to be friends!

'HALO WANNA MAKE FREN'

beware of 94768644!

2004-11-20T21:09:00.000+08:00

need i say more? :P

2004-11-20T14:00:00.000+08:00

and he looks so innocent. with those huge brown eyes of his, staring at right at me. so adorable. with curly brown hair and rosy cheeks. and the cheekiest grin. so sweet.

NOT!

MY NEPHEW IS EVIL! (like my brother.) he bites me. he hits me. he whacks me. he screams at me. he cries. he's insecure. he's gonna grow up to be one sad boy.

sigh. there's nothing i can do.

2004-11-19T22:39:00.000+08:00

TIMETABLE'S OUT!

and i have an ungodly one. anyway, Miss Er and i have the same timetable(duh, we're in the same class). but the only difference is on wednesdays, where she has a 5 hour break. LOL

anyone got Lai Yuen Poh from 1 to 3 on weds?

anyway, i dragged shawn down to the expo today. had fun. hahahah played with snow. weeee. the guy's as crappy as me. all his pick up lines etc.

lol. it's an inside joke.

I'M LEAVING SINGAPORE NEXT WEEEEEEK!

for hong kong. :)

2004-11-19T01:04:00.000+08:00

folks, my tag board isn't working. in fact. hah, i can't even see it.

OH YEAH.

i was channel surfing just now. channel 5: singapore idol. bah. and it was taufik singing his first song of the night.

WAHHHH. i like.

oh. and i found the perfect homemade remedy for blackheads. :D YES. my blackheads are GONE!

but it's really stinky and smelly. cos you have to slather raw egg whites on your nose. yes. dip your cotton wool into a bowl with egg whites which have been slightly beaten. then put them on your nose. wait for it to harden, which is roughly 2 hours. then peel. pooof. gone.

iambored.

2004-11-16T23:22:00.000+08:00

ahhhhh. one of the reasons why i love watching csi. specifically, it's the DNA guy. ahhh.

LIZ! HE'S MINE! doug's all yours man. lol. gimme the DNA guy.

lizzy and i watched the little mermaid today. hun, we don't perve on cartoon characters. no no. ;)

2004-11-15T01:18:00.000+08:00

forgive me

2004-11-14T16:53:00.000+08:00

i've lost my faith. i don't believe in God. i want to, i really do. i've been trying. and i've given up. it makes me wonder, did i even believe in this in the first place?

guess not.

2004-11-14T13:02:00.000+08:00

mindf_cked Highway

Valley of Depression	8
County Jail	24
Dumpsville	67
Fame City	131
Tower of Commitment	445
Please Drive Carefully

Where are you on the highway of life?

From Go-Quiz.com

forgive me. i am bored.

2004-11-13T01:19:00.000+08:00

eve and juan rock.

:)

my goodness, i feel like i haven't seen most of them in the longest time. IMISSYOUALL!

(liz&jon, thanks. :))

AHEM. now, as promised, i shall market shawn low tze kheng.

-he bakes cookies for his ladies
-writes stories poems etc
-adores maggie q
-crazy blogger
-my friend. heh heh

need i say more?

yes. shawn, COME NP!

2004-11-09T22:01:00.000+08:00

'you should live your life and not leave anything behind. you worked your damn ass off and you should spend all your cash before leaving this world. all i could ask for besides the basics, is my education. after that, i realised that i'm on my own, and that's how it should be.'

that's what i told my dad. and i was referring to my parents.

thank god for liquidgeneration

2004-11-09T01:45:00.000+08:00

sad sad songs

the scientist by coldplay
breathing/simon/somewhere in between by lifehouse
~~the reason by hoobastank~~
lose your way by sophie b hawkins
okay by swirl360
freshmen by vervepipe
i don't wanna miss a thing by aerosmith
kiss the rain by billie myers

happy songs?

heh. i read beni's entry about fairy tales, wanted to blog about it back then, guess i forgot. as a child, i knew i wouldn't get my fairytale ending, like those in the books i read. i just knew. and it certainly didn't help that my dad fed me with negativity.

what do you believe?

i feel so silly, blogging about this. *blush. but i still believe that i'm the main character in my own story(if not me, then who else?), and one day, i will get my own surreal ending. there is no way i am going to give in to predictability or convenience. i want what's mine.

funny. i realised how most of my relationships existed because i needed them to kill my loneliness.

there's always going to be something missing. i wish i could find a way to fill it up. but i can't. i still can't. and i know there will be moments where i fall, for no rhyme or reason.

honestly, i don't know what to do.

it gets tiring after a while.

i know there's something greater out there. and i want to find it. badly. but it just gets so hard, esp when i feel mediocre. hah. so basically, before i can even do anything, i'm stopping myself. HAH.

forgive me for rambling, i'm sleepy

2004-11-07T14:34:00.000+08:00

my brother is evil. he thinks that all the men i like, are gay. now let me explain this.

it started with utt. oh come on, the guy's HOT! and yes, i was gushing about him. and we all know he's gay. hahaha i rmb loads of guys being really relieved.

then there was legolas greenleaf aka the very delicious and yummy orlando bloom. now why does my brother think he's gay?

the evil one: he has long rebonded blonde hair, sharp feminine features and he's wearing tight pants. OF COURSE HE'S GAY!

hah. fine. the next in line, colin farrell. we all know how freaking straight he is. i bet he's slept with a large fraction of the women in Hollywood. so yes. what does the evil have to say?

evil is he: (after watching the trailer of Alexander) Gwen, he has blonde floppy hair, and he's wearing a skirt. HE'S GAY!

it gets better. he thinks Josh Hartnett's gay too. HAH!

evil nicky: he does yoga, gwen. and considering how all the guys you like are gay as well, i'm sure he is too.

THERE'S MORE. the latest one, the one he mentioned this morning. the guy who will become darth vadar, Hayden Christensen.

whyishemybrother?: (describing his poster) he has eye liner, eye shadow, gay gelled hair and tight pants.

hah. so i complained to my dad.

not goood.

the not so evil one: daddy, kor thinks that all the guys are like are gay.
him: gay is good. gay means happy, girlie. *smiles*

insert evil dr. evil like laugh from my brother.

the same two people who thought 'yayness' was gay anus. bah. heh and i woke up early today! to make banana pancakes. yes, i'm getting looney.

2004-11-05T23:06:00.000+08:00

CLICK ME to find out the truth behind britney's breasts. it's not porn. i swear.

YES I'M BORED, SO SUE ME!

anyway, i was looking through Awful Plastic Surgery and i couldn't help but feel GOOD and sad. lol.

not everyone goes for plastic surgery just to look good. there are a bunch of people out there who have to go under the knife for corrective and health purposes. and it's quite sad, since some of them are afraid to do so. the stigma's there.

in times of boredom, i thank the internet. :)

2004-11-03T21:53:00.000+08:00

i was bored today. so, i did something i have never done before. you can choose to do the same with these easy steps.

1) go to www.google.com.sg
2) type in your name in the search box.

now, my results were quite predictable. i found many websites dedicated to Gwen Stefani. BUT. i found some other things as well.

I FOUND A FREAKING PORN SITE!

yeah, i screamed. my dad laughed. my mum thought i was happy. (NO!) so, if you're curious, it's triple double u dot gwen media dot com.

EWWWWW!!!!

eh. there's another one. about wanking. i can't believe this...ARGH!! triple double u dot gwen bautista dot tk. gwen summers, a porn star. yikesss.

EWWWWW!!!! x 2

oh yes, on a slightly more intellectual note, GWEN stands for The Ground-Wave Emergency Network. yes. apparently, it's used by the military, and i couldn't be bothered to find out more, simply because i'm lazy. :P

blah blah blah an art gallery blah blah blah A BAND NAMED AFTER MEEE(k, my name). GWENMARS! heh heh a software with my name blah blah blah

and a search engine! ask gwen!!! lol. i'm getting excited.

I FINALLY FOUND MY BLOG! LOL

and yet another artist with my name. Gwen Gallery. i find the work there very interesting. fine. I LIKE IT! too bad it's not in english.

HAHAHA!! and there's one with a fortune teller. heh heh. QUOTE: Gwen offers her clients an opportunity to see themselves and their lives from a totally different perspective

on a more serious note. read this article if you have the time. a tranvestite with my name, murdered, simply because he was biologically a man.

there's a lot more. but i'm giving up, after viewing 24 pages. heh. do the same with your name. AND TELLL MEEEEEEEE!!!

2004-11-02T23:58:00.000+08:00

i heard/saw my dad pray out loud for the first time today. i couldn't really hear much of what he said.

'Mother Mary, please take care of my daughter, Gwen. No matter how crude or rude she may be. And if she's going to the wrong direction, give her a little kick to wake her up. Please protect her, and forgive her...'

To most of you, this may not mean much. But my dad's never been a believer, until recently.

the drama queen strikes back

2004-11-01T21:15:00.000+08:00

heh. after much consideration. i have finalized my will.

liz and kesh will be in charge of my clothes. in other words, they can take everything, but they have to share. heh.

charm gets priority for all the pink stuff.

beni gets my shoes, don't worry, some are new and unworned. :P

juan gets all my cds. (there's a lot. some belong to my brother, but they're mine. HAHAHAHHA!!!)

jon gets the dougwenutra. (YEAH MAAAAN!)

xb gets my quilt, or he'll bring me back to life and make me rewrite this will. (KIDDING LAH. :P)

my laptop goes to my brother. heh. he prefers mine. heehee

The Secret Diaries and Box goes to my dad. i think he deserves to know truth.

kesh can have my bags and accessories, but you must share k. good.

serene can take my bikini. lol.

my stuff toys and 'TOYS' will be given to everyone else i know, aka those in my mcm cohort, priority given to wanker inc. no worries, there's a lot to go around, i've got around 50 dusty stuff toys. and i will not talk about the other 'TOYS'. lol

magazines and books are free for all.

and i'd like the donate my dead body for scientists.

ah heck, take whatever you want. lol

2004-10-31T23:44:00.000+08:00

and we could celebrate halloween on christmas...

happy halloween, folks

2004-10-29T01:22:00.000+08:00

RAFE WON!!!!!!!

the power 98 band challenge. WOOTS WOOTS!

ayeee, wanker inc couldn't get into zouk, how sad. BUT. we had a backup plan, so we ended up drinking and getting high at boat quay. ;)

2004-10-27T22:00:00.000+08:00

i. love. beaching. period.

wednesdays are now dedicated to beaching with the wank-girls. like jon said, i can't describe how fun it was, you have to be there to understand. hmmm, let's see. beni and liz helped me conquer my fear of water, again. I CAN FLOAT!!!! :D serene and i had vodka and we didn't share it with char liz and beni. :P but booboos and i had to walk all the way to palawan to get to 7/11.

there were people from different companies doing some course there. and one of their activities was to market a coconut. and one of the groups, BeachBums, enlisted the help of serene beni charm liz and i. and we had to perform a little song during the skit. ayeee, they were bloody big shots man. CEOs of microsoft in Italy, South East Asia etc.

it was so embarrassing. but damn fun. hahhahaa

we shall continue to ssssiiinnngggg loudly while playing in the ocean, and continue to throw wet sand at each other's boobs. and i'll hope charm's friend continue's going to the same beach as us. lol

2004-10-26T23:17:00.000+08:00

and michelle just informed me that chris is going back to queenstown to perform at their talentime.

that statement alone makes me wonder about a lot of things.

talentime.

the juniors.

my old days.

chris' batch.

you?

heh. not anymore. :P

2004-10-26T22:56:00.000+08:00

heh heh. i love my friends maaan. we're crazy idiots when we're together. now, let me start off by saying that all four of us (juan jon liz and i) were late. jon was the first to arrive at the pit stop(marche at heeren), followed by yours truly, me, minutes later. juan arrived around an hour later.

but liz wins hands down.

she arrived two and a half hours late. :P

and before she arrived, i ended buying a tank for myself, hot dogs and a lil something else. heehee. i am already broke. now, i just made myself worst. i have less then 50 bucks to last me till school starts. and mind you, i'm going to hong kong next month.

sweetness. my parents are pms-ing as well.

oh yes. this is what my mum said to me last week.

mum: girly, you wanna make a run for the bus?
me: *groans* could we not? i can't run in these shoes...

and i proceed to run ahead. and my mum follows.

on the bus,

mum: *gives me that look* CANNOT RUN RIGHT! .... HUMPH!

2004-10-25T17:20:00.000+08:00

visit the official wanker inc blog/website!

please please do get the username and password from me, and update as often as you like. but do remember to leave your name behind as well. :)

yes, i know, i'm bored. :)

*tag board's down, so i do apologise for not informing tag board wankers about the blog.

2004-10-25T01:50:00.000+08:00

Wishes
(inspired by william blake)

to see the world in a grain of sand,
and heaven in a wild flower.
to hear the ocean in a shell,
and encompass it's great power.
To look to the moon and reach for the stars,
and be bathed in Heaven's light.
To take to the skies on the wings of a bird,
and one day, find love at first sight.
To have a seat upon a cloud,
and hear the angels sing.
To sit and listen to the earth,
and the whisperings of the wind.
To travel the world in leaps and bounds,
And have your dreams come true.
To have all of your hopes take flight,
that's what i wish for you.

- written by kimberly chung, and given to me on my confirmation day, november 19th 2003.

2004-10-24T14:07:00.000+08:00

can you imagine falling deeply in love with the man of your dreams?

and then being forced to marry his brother?

but lucky for you, you get to escape such a horror, and you get reunited with your love.

only to see him get killed right in front of you, by two men who are supposedly madly in love with you.

and then get raped by the two of them.

with your tongue cut off.

along with your hands.

and it gets worst. twigs and branches are stuffed into your bloody wrists.

AND i saw all of this happen, on the television screen lah. at lizzzy's house. Titus is a good movie, very very deep, but oh so worth it.

i went to lizzy's church as well. met her friends, shaun val clarice etc. YES. and since liz had to go for her class, she had to get clarice to BABYSIT, not accompany, but BABYSIT me.

I HAD FUN!

okok. i'm sorry, liz. i was high. :D

2004-10-22T22:35:00.000+08:00

a convo between ian and me

Come to SAJC open house at 25 Dover Close East 23rd October. says:
gwen, i think uve beeen too open

Come to SAJC open house at 25 Dover Close East 23rd October. says:
too many of these 'friends'

Come to SAJC open house at 25 Dover Close East 23rd October. says:
till their purpose becomes obsolete...they just become social indicators

haemoglobin - fired - windows to your soul says:
you said it

Come to SAJC open house at 25 Dover Close East 23rd October. says:
its time to just sit down and think

Come to SAJC open house at 25 Dover Close East 23rd October. says:
to reflect

haemoglobin - fired - windows to your soul says:
(and cry)

Come to SAJC open house at 25 Dover Close East 23rd October. says:
no

haemoglobin - fired - windows to your soul says:
i will

Come to SAJC open house at 25 Dover Close East 23rd October. says:
try not to k?

Come to SAJC open house at 25 Dover Close East 23rd October. says:
u look a hell lot better when u dont cry

haemoglobin - fired - windows to your soul says:
hahahaha

DISCLAIMER: i am not accusing anyone of anything. this is me. just me. about something that has been around for so long, and yet i choose not to acknowledge this. (thank you, liz.)

so...just, leave me alone, for now. :)

2004-10-21T22:42:00.000+08:00

i miss you all.

michelle, adelynn, jia xin, sylvia, ian, wei ye, wen xu, kong chian, desmond, liang wei etc

sigh.

OH YES! i got new shoes. :D i got a new pair of fushia slippers from charles and keith, and a pair of black heels from pretty fit.

I CAN WALK IN HEELS.

cheer for me dammit. lol

2004-10-20T18:30:00.000+08:00

to jonathan chia feng hong

aka, the one who teases me non stop, the one i wanna whack, the one who godzilla, the one who blogs about my toxic armpits (and i blog nice things about you, you cow) etc

thank you, babe. :) for seeing me that way. for believing in me. for being there.

lol not many can understand us. only a few in wanker inc. feel special, you cow. you're being linked with me. HEH

(insert gross comments from jon)

2004-10-20T01:00:00.000+08:00

'you can give a man your body, and hell, even your heart. but you can never give a man your power'
-CSI

2004-10-19T21:47:00.000+08:00

i finally conquered my fear of water. :D

cheer for me, dammit.

:D well, i still can't swim, but it's an improvement! :D keshia lizzy charmie beni serene anne can stand witness to that. i have never had so much fun in a long time. :) it's so silly, but these girl outings are always worth it. even when it comes to kiddish games like truth or dare, or running around taking silly pictures togethers, to sharing pizzas and bathing together etc.

we're going against next week! lol and serene and i will probably be in the same bikini. REPHRASED: serene and i were wearing the same bikini, different cutting. haha

can't wait to get the pictures.

2004-10-19T01:16:00.000+08:00

btw, liz jon juan kesh and beni, good job on not telling what xb got for me.

yes yes. i do love it. :)

and rest assured, i'm not just saying it. i really do. like, i hate ***. and why did i blank out his name? i don't wanna commit social suicide, unlike some people.

anyway

and what a mood the both of us had. annoying the hell outta each other. irritating and kachaoing. aiyoh. yes yes, he blames it on sleep. heh, i don't. this is becoming a permanent fixture. OH YEAH.

eh this is fun. :D

2004-10-17T18:30:00.000+08:00

the best toga: refer to the previous entry

the tank i MUST get

the t shirt

anyone going to the US? anyone with a credit card? anyone? anyone at all??

2004-10-16T23:50:00.000+08:00

i think i'm in love with it :)

2004-10-16T01:32:00.000+08:00

something in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself, makes me wanna lose myself in your arms.
there's something in your voice, makes my heart beat fast, hope this feeling lasts
if you knew, how lonely my life has been
and how long i've been so alone
if you knew how i wanted someone to come along and change my life the way you've done
.
.
.
but i'm alright, cos i have you here with me, and i can almost see, through the dark there is light.
if you knew how much this moment means to me
and how long i've waited for your touch
and if you knew how happy you are making me
.
.
.
i'm addicted to the dawson's creek soundtrack again.

anyway, the engagement dinner was okay. food was nice though. but i'm hungry now. BAH. somehow, i feel as though relatives take advantage of events like these to suck up to others.

'oh you're getting prettier now!'

my dad and brother are so cute. i said, 'yay-ness'. and guess what they heard.

dad: gay anus?
brother: cheering for a gay anus?

geeze.

2004-10-15T13:05:00.000+08:00

something that should have been written a long time ago

i saw you again. i froze this time. i literally stopped walking, my smile faded and i felt as though my heart stopped beating. how cliche. what? was it out of fear? maybe. but i remember how you sounded so guilty, as if you knew you were in the wrong. a dead giveaway, really.

but then i saw you again. the only one i couldn't really understand. you're so different now. i'm glad you've changed, but yet, i feel so sorry for you, for wasting your youth on harmful indulgences that could have killed you. whatever it is, you're definately not the same anymore.

and i know i couldn't forget you most. what were you? evidence of my foolishness. stupidity. i suppose, i got what i wanted. the whirlwind of emotions, the euphoria that reminded me of the toes i had to step on. you were oblivious to it all. what can i say about you, that i haven't said before?

i couldn't remember crying this much (back then)

every child loses something a whole life can't fulfil

and then there's you. just when i firmly believed that i didn't need anyone else. the one who came at the least expected time. the one i was so afraid to believe in. the one i choose not to let go. i finally saw how one thing led to another, and how i got here. i told you before, you make everything i had to go through worth it.

and You were there to see all this unfold

2004-10-14T22:21:00.000+08:00

2004-10-14T01:26:00.000+08:00

MSN has a life of it's own. or should i call it a home?

liz aka doug's MINE!! MINE MINE MINE!!
me aka sorry liz, doug's at my place now
ian aka i've killed doug. so shut up both of you

it's like that time i called someone a coward, and she responded by changing her nickname to, 'i'm a coward, so what?'

LOL

so, instead of trying to complete my flash assignment, what am i doing?
exchanging music files with miss elizabeth low li ting. yeah man. it's cheesy 80s song night.

2004-10-13T22:52:00.000+08:00

5 years of friendship.

i told jia xin that if we got our sec 1 selves and put them in front of us now, they would be really proud of us. i still remember back then, how you and lynn wanted to get into a jc, and i wanted mass comm. and today, i met up with you two, in your SA and JJ uniforms.

AHHHHHH! i love you both, so so so much. from the first day of school, to our graudation day, we were there. :) from the fights and laughs, we survived.

what more could i say?

2004-10-12T21:52:00.000+08:00

high cholestrol level. arthritis. tennis elbow. weak knees. sinus. potential breast cancer victim.

all before 50.

high cholestrol level. receding hairline. heart bypass. knee operation. excessive workload.

all before 55.

heartaches. disappointment. failure. 2 kids. hardwork. love. quarrels. belittling. wrinkles. calluses. pain.

my parents

UPDATE: dumb dumb. i dropped my adaptor onto my laptop keyboard. sweetness. everytime i sign into msn, i have to reboot it. now, either there's something wrong with my hard drive, or it's my ram. ah hah. even better. it might be both. how orgasmic.

speaking of orgasms, my marketing group, Spasm Orgasm Ptd Ltd, scored an A! WOOOTS. happiness like this, is short lived. esp when my web gra results are coming out, and my flashing ... sucks.

2004-10-11T22:32:00.000+08:00

ahem. presenting, a convo with michelle tham mei xue.

me: waaahhh, i look horrid now.
me: i have eye bags, bloatedness, bad figure etc
me: i'm uggglllyyyy!!!
mich: you are not.
mich: your figure is better then mine
( not true! she's damn curvy can. )
mich: you are slim
(dammit. i haven't seen her for a reallly loooong time!!!)
mich: i am a bit plump
( aiyoh darling ah...lol.)
me: michelle, you have boobs.
me: mine ran away...
mich: did you watch resident evil?
me: oh yeah!!!
mich: your boobs are bigger then the main actress
mich: heehee

not funny can.

2004-10-10T22:19:00.000+08:00

hello folks. as you can see from the picture above, the guy at the back is obviously doing a very good job in satisfying his best friend. *look at the mouth* and yes, the humper at the back is my self proclaimed number 1 fan. he claims to read my blog every single day and threatens that my ratings will fall if i do not give him food.

as compared to,

aye aye, consider my relations to the two above guys.

2004-10-10T17:58:00.000+08:00

i realised how i'm finding the answers to the questions i had last year.

2004-10-10T01:02:00.000+08:00

ahhh what a nice feeling. i just got home from a concert at the esplanade with my dad, since my mum couldn't make it. 'Rolling Good Times' was basically performances by bands and singers from my dad's era, da baby boomers. so cute! i know my dad had fun. :D

all the music got me thinking. again. hahaha. i realised how lucky those musicians are, to be on stage, doing what they love. ahhh, i was filled with envy. they know what they want, what they're good at, and what they love doing

i don't.

sigh. i need to find out what i'm good at, and explore my possibilities from there. maybe if i didn't stop learning music, i'd be good at it. maybe if i didn't stop my classes, i'd be of a higher rank right now. maybe if i stopped thinking about how embarrassing it would be to try something new.maybe if i stopped thinking that my problems are always inferior to everyone else's, i might open up more.....

maybe i should just stop.

anyway, while i was leaving the theatre with daddy dearest, one of the ushers spoke to me. which makes my good old father ask me this:

dad: you know him? your classmate?
me: i don't know him
dad: then why did he talk and smile to you?
me: i don't know
dad: what did he say?
me: he asked me if we were leaving, so i said yes. and he said goodnight.

see. my dad's one of those men out there who believe that it's the girl's fault for attracting the wrong attention. tell him that 90% of rape victims know their rapists, and he'll make you believe that you could be one of the 10%.

overprotective?

not as much as before. conservative? yes. very much so. i wouldn't say that i'm not either, but not as much as them. which might explain why there was so much friction in the past. which is why i gave up on fighting for what i wanted.

and yes, one more thing, walking home late at night is scary. even with my dad. shite. those pervies are freaking irritating. control your damn dick and don't go looking at anything with a kiang!

2004-10-09T01:26:00.000+08:00

what can i possibly get outta being nice? esp in the industry i am about to enter in the near future? knowing me and knowing myself, this is nonsense. the likelihood of me letting people climb on top of my head is so freakin high.

basically, it's history repeating itself.

BAH. being nice is a sign of weakness.

2004-10-07T01:12:00.000+08:00

come on. gimme your best pick up lines.

and this is what the guys said. mostly from ian, marcus and valentino or just stuff i've heard before.

-ian: do you know what looks good on you? ME
-ian: help the homeless, take me home.
-liang wei: i'm sorry, i think you dropped my name card.
-juan: my mum told me to be honest...and i think you have the nicest ass in this room.
-ian: i bet you 20 bucks you're gonna turn me down.
-ian: pardon me miss, i seem to have lost my handphone number. can i borrow yours?
-ian: stand back, i'm a doctor. you get an ambulance, i'll loosen her clothes.
-val: wanna see my hard drive? i promise it ain't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.
-marcus: i'm thirsty. i need to get a drink, let me get you one too.
-hey, can you gimme 4d numbers? start with a 9 and it's for two weeks worth.
-is your dad osama bin landan? cos baby, you're the bomb!
-ian: my name is justin. justincredible.
-keshia: i can't make your cherry pop, but i can make a banana cream.

and this has got to be the most successful one. by val(sounds like a girl, but it's guy, he can prove it.)

senerio: a pretty girl holding a tin can for charity.

drops one coin, 'this is for charity', drops another coin, 'this is for your name', drops the last coin, 'and this is for your number'.

and now, a convo with ian and me.

come on. gimme your best pick up line. says:
good job
Charmaine's Stupid. says:
no, blow.

'that dress looks nice on you, but it looks nicer on the floor.'

and this is for my radio capsule! geeze. a little too graphic and rude. hahah imagine changing your topic from food reviews to pickup lines.

meeting up with shawn today really brought back a lot of memories. hey shawwwn! you still look the same! minus the hair and pants. :P it's a real small world, and as you get older, you realise how small it is. like how sg idol's christopher michael lee is connected to shawn's batch. and how i met them.

what it used to be like.

and what it is now.

i'm glad i got outta there. come to think of it, i think we all did.

2004-10-05T23:34:00.000+08:00

you know liz, it's not that the both of us constantly have those depressing talks, i just think that it's a balance. and nooo, i don't think you talk too much. honestly, i feel a whole lot better after hearing what you have to say. well, it beats being in denial.

and i'd rather hear it from you then anyone else.

damn it feels good. no more writcomm. 1 down, radio and webgra to go. and marketing test. i think i'm the only moron out there who's not looking forward to the hols. no school equals to no allowance. sweetness.

yayayayaayaaya
a different kind of lovin' says:
lizzy
a different kind of lovin' says:
if i'm a baked bean, then what are you?
a different kind of lovin' says:
what's jon and juan?
burns says:
not every one has a special power
burns says:
u.
burns says:
are.
burns says:
the
burns says:
Baked Bean

2004-10-04T21:20:00.000+08:00

argh. no time for anything at all.

i realised how i've been spending my time with the wrong people and things.

so yes. i shall take your advice.

2004-10-03T13:41:00.000+08:00

AND i got a new layout coming up! just need to get the codes done up...

2004-10-03T13:30:00.000+08:00

i realised how blind i am. xb sent me the pic of his bleeding toe, and i thought it was his niece's foot! don't ask me how i related that to the pic, cos i don't know either! and don't ask why i couldn't see the blood. actually, i can answer that, the pic on the msn screen was damn small. hah.

i'm currently at kap macs, on a sunday, doing my writcomm. argh. this is horrid. i'm spending my weekend doing homework!! :( thank god it's wan yi and not ... nvm. this is nice. my laptop's gonna die soon. in about 90 minutes. sweetness.

must. not. eat. fast. food. must. not.

oh yes, lizzy's gonna start cutting off people's boobs if plans continue to be cancelled. so yes, be warned.

2004-10-02T18:31:00.000+08:00

You are the color red. You are the most controversial of all the colors. You are often easily angered, but as easily as you got excited, you come down. When angered, do you have the tendency to be malicious? Afterwards, do you end up begging for forgiveness? Maybe. But you're incredibly generous, and, oddly enough, needy. You love to hate, and sometimes, you hate to love. This color describes you as generally edgy. When in a bad situation, you're pessimistic, and when you're in a good situation, you're extremely optimistic. You're painfully tempermental, and sometimes it hurts the ones you love. But with an exciting and stimulating attitude, you enjoy talking to people and being social. But aside from your bold and outgoing attitude, you're attention-needing and attention-getting. This color is associated with lust and desire--and you are both lust and desirous. You're a protective person when it comes to the people you love. You're incredibly sharp-witted and powerful (not to mention intelligent!).

What color are you? (Amazingly detailed & accurate--with pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

is this suppose to be accurate? ...

You are the Fool card. The Fool fearlessly begins the journey into the unknown. To do this, he does not regard the world he knows as firm and fixed. He has a seemingly reckless disregard for obstacles. In the Ryder-Waite deck, he is seen stepping off a cliff with his gaze on the sky, and a rainbow is there to catch him. In order to explore and expand, one must disregard convention and conformity. Those in the throes of convention look at the unconventional, non-conformist personality and think What a fool. They lack the point of view to understand The Fool's actions. But The Fool has roots in tradition as one who is closest to the spirit world. In many tribal cultures, those born with strange and unusual character traits were held in awe. Shamans were people who could see visions and go on journeys that we now label hallucinations and schizophrenia. Those with physical differences had experience and knowledge that the average person could not understand. The Fool is God. The number of the card is zero, which when drawn is a perfect circle. This circle represents both emptiness and infinity. The Fool is not shackled by mountains and valleys or by his physical body. He does not accept the appearance of cliff and air as being distinct or real. Image from: Mary DeLave http://www.marydelave.com/

Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

i'm bored, can you tell?

You're a Vampire. Vampires were the creatures of the night that were believed to live off of human blood. Count Dracula, being the most famous vampire, set the stereotype. They had dark hair and pale skin from being away from the sunlight. If they actually existed, it's very possible they had the skin disease that made you allergic to the sun so whenever the sunlight would hit it, it would hurt like crazy. They were usually snobbish and control freaks and kept werewolves as pets. (If you cannot see the picture, go to my userpage and look near the bottom. There should be the picture and description for all the results)

What Mystical Creature Are You? (Pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

i need to get a life

You are a Siren. More adventurous than all with a voice like no other you sit on warm rocks and sing to the moon and sea. Yet sometimes shipwrecks find you and raving men want you. You are a bottle of talent and power. What the unknown is you seek to find, and a lover. You have the moon and stars as freinds. There are a very few of you, what a rare find. Will you rate my quiz, I think your voice in just beautiful?

What kind of mermaid are you? (Gorgeous Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

these quizzes aren't accurate. they're evidence to prove how bored i am.

2004-10-01T22:56:00.000+08:00

lets just say that today is a good example of how wanker inc can go wild. let's see, juan jon liz fadli and i were in daw 2, playing daft punk's one more time. juan switches off the light, and we all start dancing.

on comes the song Sukiyaki, and all of us except liz starts singing. & baby, when the lights go out, crazy things start to happen, esp with us. HAHAHA dancing, gay dancing, grinding, stripping etc

btw, jon and juan's reproductive organs have names. godzilla and ultraman, respectfully. i could go on about them ... but well, you can imagine.

jon: godzilla is asleep.
juan: ultraman beat godzilla.

how could i possibly leave them behind?

all the bitching, talking, bonding, laughing, eating, cussing, loving, fighting, carrying, pinching, groping, smacking and so much more to come.

so this semester did start on the wrong foot, at least for me, and it's ending on a much sweeter note. as cliche as it sounds. jon was right, every class has it's themes. and T107 is divided, but on the surface, everything looks fine. now liz is right again, most of us choose to be profession and hostile towards each other.

hell have no fury like a women's scorn.

2004-09-30T23:41:00.000+08:00

marketing tutorials are always interesting. esp when you have j.lo as your tutor. and this lesson was the best. *then again, which of his lessons wasn't? :P* except this lesson, i had to wrestle with liz for a picture of doug robb half naked. yes we fought.

but after the lesson, lizzy proudly showed ann her picture. now imagine this: three girls giggling like sec 1 schoolgirls. over one stupid folded picture. :D ann looks sooo cute when she giggles!!

oh yes, i forgot to mention that my iac group was chatting with desmond wee last wednesday. :D i was staring at his eyes lips etc...beni's right. he has a very strong jawline.

val: i heard that you went on missionaries ...
dw: yeah are you in a missionary? and i don't mean the position

and i was the only one who got that joke. yes liz yes kesh. it's like how i reacted with jem. funny funny. laugh laugh

kesh: god, she's so obvious.

2004-09-29T21:44:00.000+08:00

it's annoying when your groupmate's taking pictures of you while you're doing your work. it's even more annoying when he's focusing his lens on your pimply forehead; the one you're desperately trying to hide and ignore.

STANLEY MUTU ARUMULINGUM DING LI!

anyways, kudos to my CATS group for a great performance. once again, i apologise for dropping the black cloth. yes. good job BENITA LIM! eh, i think today was the best CATS lesson ever. all the skits were good. none were boring. woooot.

*applaud*

i can't believe i'm going to say this, but i'm going to miss khiong zai aka mister chan yoke khiong. ahhh i'm gonna miss that bondage crazy sex lovin' man. i'm gonna miss everyone. shit. being sentimental again. i realised how annoying it is.

2 down, 5 more to go.

2004-09-28T20:16:00.000+08:00

'do you believe in love at first sight?

'no, i prefer to look a little deeper'

reality check: socpsy's due on thursday, marketing's due on friday 5pm, cats and iac are due in 16 hours time, writcomm's on tuesday, radio's on friday, web gra as well.

beat that.

beaching. saturday. bikinis. friends. beni's belated birthday celebration. :)

2004-09-27T22:07:00.000+08:00

ahem. introducing *drum roll* Nicholas Lee Ming Hui

shexy single and studying/working

annoying brother of mine

and he adores and loves my nephew

he's up for grabs ;)

but he's not. matthias chua wei heng. not for another 16 plus years. he's turning 2 this december!

2004-09-26T22:50:00.000+08:00

i need to get away from all of this. for now.

oh god. i don't need to meet new people, i'll just freak out in front of them. i could never be comfortable in situations like this. never. please don't put me there again. as if being paranoid isn't enough.

you know, you were right. i'm more broken up then i realised.

i need to go away

all of these voices get out of my head.

2004-09-25T22:45:00.000+08:00

lizzy was right.

lizzy's always right.

i knew we were alike, that's why we are friends. but, i didn't know that i reminded her of myself. sometimes i feel as though she's the only person who can really read me, inside and out. and it's scary.

on the topic of tom SHEXY welling starring in smallville.

Juan says:
u know
Juan says:
truth is
Juan says:
actually, they wanted to cast me in... but tom welling got jealous
Juan says:
so it thought... hell... i'll go study in poly first
Juan says:
they'll call me back
Juan says:
=)

oh god.

2004-09-24T22:25:00.000+08:00

a little convo with my brother

me: ehhhhh, how to i cover up my hips?
him: *gives his serious face* i think you need to eat more
me: what? why?
him: so that you'll put on more weight around your waist and it'll cover up your hips. *GRINS*

this 'disease' runs in the family. i know. my dad has it too.

a little convo about my toga top

dad: gwen, one of your sleeves is missing
me: nope, it's a toga. it's meant to look like this
dad: how can you let the shop cheat you of one sleeve?
me: they didn't!!
dad: how much did you spend on it?
me: twenty?
dad: you spend twenty on a shirt with one sleeve missing? they cheated you! there's cloth missing!!

he uses the 'cloth is missing' excuse a lot. with three quarts, tanks and skirts. BAH. i have an interesting family.

2004-09-23T17:05:00.000+08:00

take my hand, and lead me there...

2004-09-22T19:01:00.000+08:00

i'm thinking too much again. what if there's nothing else to me? could i possibly be as superficial and shallow as i look? dammit. where has my depth gone? negative emotions do not equate to that, even though i do believe it is easy to mistaken one for the other.

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly,
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky,
And I'll make a wish, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun,
But I won't forget all the ones that I love.
I'll take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.

Wanna feel the warm breeze,
Sleep under a palm tree,
Feel the rush of the ocean,
Get onboard a fast train,
Travel on a jetplane,
Faraway, and break away.

i need more time. BAH

2004-09-21T19:32:00.000+08:00

Could you whisper in my ear
The things you wanna feel
I'd give you anythin'
To feel it comin'

Do you wake up on your own
And wonder where you are?
You live with all your faults

I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
So why don't you slide
-- goo goo dolls, slide

i need to vent. so here goes. to all those friendster fanatics who messages 'hi, can i get to know?', i have found you a worthy competitor. a person who posts one liner bulletins, thinking it's so cool and that's a notch higher and better then everyone else. GET A LIFE! one who paints his nails black and can't carry it off, uses eye liner and is just utterly repulsive!!! shawn and kesh can agree with me on this. BAH.

catch 22

2004-09-19T15:33:00.000+08:00

:) kesh, i was looking through tod, reading through my old entries. it's just extremely heartwarming to remember those days. from the first phone call, from the first entry about him, you were there. and you know what? i'm going through the same thing again, and you're still here. :)

oh yes. another thing. my dad told me not the shake my leg. why? because he said that shaking your leg is like masturbating. (yes, he said that).

dad: you give people the impression that you're enjoying yourself by shaking your leg. not nice, girly.

2004-09-17T14:44:00.000+08:00

FINALLY. web gra's over. marketing quiz is over. radio's over. BUT. i have two socpsy assignments, a proposal essay, a web gra assignment coming up. and of course, more marketing templates along with the final exam. how sweet.

it never ends, does it?

oh yes. my mum bought a coloring book for my nephew. problem is, that little stinky boy refuses to color on blank pages, so my mum has to color a few first, before he does. ya. how interesting. see a ** year old women coloring.

mum: girly, can you stop coloring and buy your lunch?
me: but but...i never had these coloring books when i was younger...
mum: WHAT?! you want me to spank you is it? i bought so many of these books for you. blah blah blah

2004-09-16T21:32:00.000+08:00

j.lo scared the shit outta me today. apparently, my dear marketing lecturer has the ability to read people from their faces. but yes, i am sure he does observe us as well. but it's not exactly a very comfortable feeling when people you don't really know are able to tell you things about yourself that you're trying to conceal.

now, he thinks that i am a hopeless romantic, which i am not! fine. maybe i'm in denial, but i do NOT like corny stuff. DO NOT. fine. i am in denial. SHUT UP. then, he tells me that i have a dark side.

whatever it is, he freaked liz out the most.

2004-09-13T22:59:00.000+08:00

for the first time in a long time, i was earlier then kesh charm and liz. yes, i think the traffic jam was to blame for this. haha i manage to catch up with some sleep during soc psy. after that, val and i got busy in daw 2 of the radio building. wink wink*

you know, i don't need any more confirmation to tell that jon is as horny as plants respire. he humps and touches everything he gets his hands on. poor xb and fadli. wait. i think they enjoy it. and yes, i think syed joined in at some point in time. and well, let the moaning begin. hahaha

yes jon, i know how your godzilla is doing. yes. you are strong enough to carry me, but please bare in mind that i am very light as compared to juan.

in the words of marcus,

"spermicide a day keeps the sperm away!"

that's for wanker inc to remember. ;)

2004-09-12T14:10:00.000+08:00

wanker inc has expanded - again. i shall repeat their names

lizbido, jonication, juank, chartoris, benis, everotic, serene the semen, xuanker, iancest, anne-nal, keshing, mabples and of course, gwendom

see, this is what stress does to you. it makes you do very moronic and stupid things. any more takers for wanker inc? yes benis, you are now dubbed the creative director. and you forgot the dub me gwendom lah!!! damn sad you know...

jon, my armpits smell normal. it's your nose, and god knows where it's been.

i need more retail therapy, and i think keshia will agree with me on this, it's about time i get my pants. yes, i can hear my mum's voice in my head, telling me how they're no longer in fashion. aye, i like them and they're freaking comfortable, plus the fact that i'm really too lazy to be girl and bring a bag out, therefor i choose to fully utilise those pockets. ahem. time to save up. :D

2004-09-11T17:31:00.000+08:00

wanker inc has expanded!! :D and yes, jon wants me to say this, and i will, boobs inc is only for girls. yes, he only wants girls. sorry guys. :x

i went shopping with jon today, to get himself another one of those button up formal shirts. dammit. guys just look good in those. *hint* yeah, we ended up at topman, where he was trying on countless numbers of shirts. i saw my sec sch friend working there, and we saw leon as well. jonny horny bought me lunch :D and i officially have a major fetish for underwear(among others). anyway, J.O.Nathan got himself a nice white shirt with stripes. very very nice. so's the price tag.

benita: how can you have wanker inc without the BENIS?

charmaine's chartoris(clitoris), liz's lizbido(libido), beni's benis(replace the b with a p) and i'm gwendom(condom).

aye, beni, we need to get names for jon juan kesh eve ian and the other potential wanker inc folks. hahah

2004-09-11T13:47:00.000+08:00

i'm freaking tired. in more ways then one. writcomm info essay. socpsy test. web gra presentation. marketing test. writcomm proposal essay. sheesh. i was looking forward to sleeping.

[ i miss michelle. :( ]

oh yes, my mum signed me up for some christmas play for my church. yes. and of all characters, i'm going to be an angel. YES, AN ANGEL. her initially plan was to get me to play mother mary. when i heard then, i had to make a CONSCIOUS effort not to curse or scream in front of her. so why didn't she sign me up for playing mary?

mum: i realised that you can't kneel for half an hour.

yeah, and i remember juan telling me about mean i'm being by not mentioning anything about my mum. k. now i have. btw, i realised that there are people interested in joining wanker inc. i have no idea why. but. well. welcome to da club :p

btw, happy birthday, benedict :)

2004-09-09T15:05:00.000+08:00

i've got weird friends. jon was so bored, till he was using one of his research cards to tickle me. THANKS A LOT YOU PHUCKER!!!!!

btw, this is official now. i've started a company. it's called wanker inc and it consists of me liz(lollipop) juan(breast man) and jon(johnson). oh yeah. and i'm the vice president of boobs inc, which is owned by jonathan chia feng hong. together, wanker inc and boobs inc will bring forth a hell lot of horn. and don't worry, we do our research very very often and we take pride in our work. ;)

yes. now all you people can rejoice and celebrate!! for wanker inc and boobs inc is here to staaay!!

ah juan. it's thursday, 26 hours to the writcomm deadline, why do you want to change our topic? you've really got too much to juggle, besides wanker inc, you have your job, your band, school AND dragon boat. aye. good luck hun.

writcomm's due on friday. socpsy's on sat. web gra's next tues. what is the education doing to the youth of today? sigh. youth IS wasted on the young. the confused. the lost. the wasted. the horny.

2004-09-08T21:48:00.000+08:00

there's no point living in fear
~~but there's so much you don't know~~
how long can you run?
for as long as i can

aye, the thoughts in my head. all of these voices, GET OUT OF MY HEAD! sigh. somebody. gimme some optimism. happiness is a pill. right now, sleep is heaven. well, close :P

2004-09-06T19:50:00.000+08:00

i love you, dad

it's almost been a year since you had your heart op. i can't help but think about how that one event changed everything. before that, we were at each other's throats, fighting, yelling and argueing. we couldn't agree on anything, from my internet usage, extreme phone bills and even my curfew. i couldn't think of anyone else but myself. it was all about me. it came to a point where silence was all we could compromise.

when i saw you at the hospital, after the heart op, i tried so hard not to cry. i suppose, i was so used to letting you see the emotionless side of me, and i was afraid of showing you that i care. i remember waiting with mum in a waiting room, doing my a maths homework, trying my very best not to think about anything. i couldn't.

i remembered all the times you spent with me, when i was younger. when you carried me on your shoulders, when you sat next to me in the toilet, when i collected my prize at P6, when we had our trips to the science centre or coffeeshops or delifrance. when you had those special talks with me, about the world; the beauty and the truth. all my life, all you ever wanted was to protect me. i do appreciate it, but i still believe that you can't protect me forever.

you're always going to be the man that sees me as the most beautiful and special girl in his life. how many people can actually say that? none. only you. i would never forget the time mum told me about your reaction, when you saw our family picture at a wedding. that was the first time i heard you say, 'that's my daughter' with that corny smile on your face.

over the years, i know you have aged. but you're still adorable to me. i can't explain why i'm so scared of losing the people around me. neither can i explain why i'd send random and odd 'i love you' sms-es to you for no reason. yes, i do love you. and i don't want to spend my time quarreling with you just because we don't see eye to eye.

i've grown

2004-09-06T10:23:00.000+08:00

apparently, i am going to be borrowed tomorrow night. oh this is interesting. i should have a rental fee. :D yes, everyone needs a Gwen for a good dose of lame humour, a short shoulder to cry on and a friendship you'll eventually want to run away from. oh yes. :D

kesh: we'll be among all those sweaty boys :D!!

ian: i'm not going to give you my apple!

ian said, ' we love gnow tap '

pat wong: one woman, 20 men.

kesh: i love my baby leh.

liz: i think i'm going blind in one eye, i think there's something in my contacts, but i'm too lazy to do something.

me: beni, char, say something

beni&char: something.

ah nice. pat wong gave us a 3 days extension on our info essay. nice. i stayed up the whoole night to do the damn thing. and i actually like doing my research. oh nice. i'm turning into a geek.

ian, i love your apple. LAPPIE.

kesh: eh, that sounds like a lap dance.

FOR GOD'S SAKE! it's a LAPTOP

2004-09-05T14:57:00.000+08:00

how would you feel if you spent the whole week trying to find information on the world wide web unsucessfully? phucking upsetting

how would you feel when you've finally found something useful? orgasmic

i didn't know that stockholm syndrome is also the name of a band. i have suffering from a condition called ignorance. and there's currently no medical cure. so my dad perscribed his own medicine.

the newspaper.

2004-09-03T23:38:00.000+08:00

i'm so dead. my entire microsoft office isn't functioning. in other words, i can't type out my work. i can't find much information for my info essay. i am going to kill myself.

i got A for radio. but that won't make up for the lovely grades in writcomm or socpsy, or marketing for that matter. maybe my dad is right, i can't have or do everything i want at the same time.

or i could prove him wrong. ;)

2004-09-02T21:07:00.000+08:00

ouch. my nephew just banged his head on the corner of the wall. and now, he's screaming and crying.

deja vu

10 years ago, the same thing happen to me. except i tripped over a wire, and he tripped over his feet. except he's not bleeding, and that i did. and i required 7 stitches.

~~i've been waiting for tmr for close to two years.~~

if i knew then what i knew now. i was foolish for way too long. lol you know what you remind me? that i'm not 15 anymore.

2004-09-01T22:34:00.000+08:00

lets see. i'm bored. okay. so.

what i'm also known as:
- a zara whore
- a coke freak
- a moron
- an idiot

an sms convo i had with my dad yesterday

me: hey dad, i'm not joining you for dinner tonight. take care
dad: ;-(
me: awww come on, don't be sad, i still love ya!
dad: ;-)

...10 more mins. and my brother wants the modem. BAH.

OH YES. i haven't been to class for the past two days. :D skipped webgra on tues. skipped CATS today. ayeee, what a refreshing change. oh god. marketing and writcomm hw.

a convo with my mum this morning

mum: eeh gwen! wear my yellow heels! they go with your top
me: i can't walk in heels, mum
mum: nevermind, girly. just walk slowly.

right.

2004-08-30T23:13:00.000+08:00

all that crap i had to go through.
all those horrible moments i had with myself, alone.
all those times i smiled at everyone else except myself.
all those times.

all worth it. :)

to whom it may concern: i know what today means.

2004-08-29T15:04:00.000+08:00

i adore

2004-08-29T13:10:00.000+08:00

womad. i shall be seeing you again next year.

i got in free. weee, cos juan owes me a birthday present and he was nice enough to pay for my ticket. :D THANKS! i never thought that i'd be interested in musical events like this, but hell, i sooo am. it was pretty fun, on the whole, and we were all dripping wet with sweat(not just our own) at the end. i saw steve, that old sec sch friend, who casually informed me about how his friend's one of singapore's richest kid. right.

Jon: OMG. THAT WAS BETTER THEN SEX!

and i have come to a conclusion. i hate beer. I WANT VODKA! yeah, liz and jon had their own burping competition. obviously, jon won, HANDS DOWN. and speaking of JONATHAN CHIA FENG HONG, he friggin hell pissed me off! and yes, i can't remember how, BUT HE DID. so yes, yours truly(ME) gave him TWO wedgees. :D

yep. thanks juan! for walking me out. :)

eh, this is pretty good. two weeks ago, i saw hoobastank, two weeks later, i was at womad. NICE. did i get any work done? no.

2004-08-28T14:56:00.000+08:00

& the drama continues :D

my dad and brother are very smart people. they send me out to buy our lunch, collect the lundry and buy newspaper along with NewMan magazine(for my brother, not me. i know my sexual orientation).

that's not the bad thing. after buying the food, i was at the laundry shop, and i had to collect the sofa cover(read: BIG and BULKY). so basically, i looked like i came from the market, with more stuff then usual. AND as i was leaving, this guy opened the door for HIMSELF, not making ANY way for me, bare in mind that both of my hands were full, and the let friggin heavy door slam on me.

no injuries were sustained.

COUNTDOWN: 3 hours to WOMAD :D

2004-08-27T15:26:00.000+08:00

kim,

you have no idea how happy i am for you! like i said in your diary, i kinda knew what you were going to say. :) you're one of the lucky ones, you know? your first kiss IS special, not overrated. i'm thinking about mine right now. BAH

btw, wanna know how much a bimbo and drama queen i am? :D read on

PHUCKING HELL. i cut my hair today, at some salon near my house. yesss, cheapskate, i know. but it's hair, and it WILL grow back. ( i hope ) the lady seemed to be in a bad mood. i told her to cut off 2 inches. like i said, she wasn't in a good mood. cos she took of 3 inches. doesn't sound like much right? IT"S A LOT. yes. i HAD long hair. now it looks SHORT. now, short hair doesn't look so bad right? it looks nice on keshia and beni and all. BUT. not on me. back when i had short hair, i'm pretty sure that people around me forgot that i was a GIRL. and how short is my hair? well, if i tie it up, it's shorter then lizzy's pony tail, and slightly longer then my third finger. BAH

2004-08-25T22:47:00.000+08:00

i absolutely resent the fact that men will always be physically stronger then women. dammit. this is unfair! it's never safe for a girl to walk home alone in the middle of the night. my dad worries excessively for me cos i'm his only daughter. yes. he's paranoid, and so am i. he thinks that everytime i go out at night, i might get murdered or God knows what else.

oh yeah. i got my socpsy results. DISCLAIMER: outta 4 in my group, 3 were sick, and 1 was in the hospital. yes, i know that's no excuse for getting a C+. but definately shows something: STUDY, GWEN!!! at least i know where my strengths are. at least. i am so trying to comfort myself.

jon and liz were in the same socpsy group. apparently, they did REALLY well in ROLEPLAY. full pun intended. *winks

2004-08-24T22:13:00.000+08:00

i did when i was 14, and i did again today. bahhh, but this time, it was bloody freaky, i hate it when the things you try so hard to hide are revealed. yes, i know i'm confirming it by stating it here, but my face is a dead giveaway.

to see the world in a grain of sand,
and heaven in a wild flower.
to hold the universe in the palm of your hand
and eternity in an hour
-william blake